My advanced-level education is now over.
This makes me happy for a myriad of reasons:

  • Firstly, I have three whole months to do nothing but get drunk, baked and fucked.
  • I don't have to go to Billingham ever again.
  • Until I start university I won't have to indulge in unnecessary (awkward) banter with people I hardly know and / or like.
  • I can procrastinate as much as I like without feeling guilty afterwards.
  • In september I'll be living on my Manchester...being all film-studenty and stuff.

The only thing I'll actually miss is the legend that is Dave Taylor, and his  drug-fueled-johnathon-ross-stealing-scripts-from-universal-studio's anecdotes.



I had no idea how intimidating writing an "OH MY GOD, I'M NOT POSTING IN armadeo ANY MORE!" entry would be...
welcome to the new place?
  • Current Music
    gregory and the hawk - boats and birds
  • Tags

...the time has come...

All entries below this one are exact copies of my ancient prepubescent ramblings. Special apologies go to Hannah who is presumably going to recieve over 150 emails confirming this fact.

delta_wave !!!

Add it. Love it. And ignore this one. It's going to be kinda-sorta-friends only so I can actually be a cunt and not care :o)

I think it's safe to say that I have out-grown this journal - the username and early entries actually cause me physical pain and serve as a constant reminder that I used to think Anne Rice was cool. 

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…he hung himself with a guitar string…

Busy. Busy. Busy.
But happy :o)

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To catch up though;

Morrissey was spectacular. I was crushed between hundreds of sweaty old men, but I was sooooo close to him. I lost my shoes in the 'pit' and spent 3 songs being molested by some geggy twat with grabby hands,  but I think it was worth it in the end.

Christmas was wii fueled. Im stuck on zelda though...

And New Years Eve was rather enjoyable. Some terrifying drunk man with broken hands approached me on the way home and told me stories about how when he was in Vietnam his pregnant wife got blown up and he had to piece her back together. I had to bite my tongue until it bled to try and stop myself laughing in his face becasue the man genuinely believed his own bullshit and also looked like a murderer.
My high point of the conversation was when he took the towel he was wearing around his neck and dangled it infront of my face exclaiming "See this!? It's green! That means I'm in the army!"
  • Current Music
    nick cave & the bad seeds - dead man in my bed

(no subject)

It has taken me all day to write 213 sensible words about soviet literature.
Oh lord, please help me to meet my deadline on friday.
  • Current Mood
    stressed stressed


It has suddenly come to my attention that I am just as stupid as the people I mock.
Not only have I potentially wasted £64 on Morrissey tickets that may never get to me on time, but I also entrusted the illustrious task of postage onto someone who types in nothing but block capitals. Can anyone say shit?

I haven't felt human since I won the fucking things, constantly worrying that the postman won't have anything in his big red bag for me on monday morning...
If I don't get to go it will actually be the saddest day of my life.

In other news one of the books I ordered from the library came today! It's called The Hungarian Cinema of Márta Mészáros and is (so far) painfully dull (but it's for coursework so that was expected anyway.)

Love & trash
  • Current Music
    kristeen young - commit adultery

...why do I waste valuable time on people who dont care if I live or die

I am so angry I can feel it roaring at the back of my throat.
I’ve only been awake for little over two hours and I’ve already been confronted by a swarm of complete tossers. Here’s a tip, if you are stupid, stay away from me.
If you don’t know what the word learned means, stay away from me.
If you are going to ask a really stupid question such as “Ooooh, did you want that bus?” don’t fucking say it to me – let alone twice in a row when you could of oooh I don’t know, hailed the fucking thing down for me and spared me the painful small talk you forced me to endure? In fact, when you see me walking down the street you should really just try to stay out of my way. I can feel your brainwaves trying to penetrate through your paper-thin skull and it enrages me.
If you are reading this entry and are thinking something along the lines of “Dear god, the above description could be me – whatever should I do!?” I have compiled a rather helpful list to aid you in your quest to intellectual superiority.

1.) If you are waiting for a bus, stick your fucking arm out. Dithering around like a total feeb will get you nowhere in life, let alone passage onto a moving vehicle. It is also advisable to hand the bus driver the correct currency when attempting to purchase a ticket - the euros you used to buy your sangrias in Aya Napa won’t work here darl.

2.) If you are an employee for an independent bus service it is advisable to know your fares, work the ticket machine and know your fucking root. Asking me how much it is to town was surely the worst mistake you made on the journey because you cheated yourself out of 50 pence. Going at the grand speed of 5 miles an hour whilst you try to work out how to use said ticket machine was also not a good idea, I’m sure the man who you nearly ran over will also agree with this statement. After this farce I not only missed my bus to college and was therefore late, but I also decided that I despise you. If I ever see you again you are dead :o)

3.) If I move up and force myself to be near the smelly drunk man, at least have the common courtesy to fucking sit down in the space I cleared for you.

4.) Keep your children away from me. The only thing I hate more than stupid people is children. Not only are they equally clueless in the art of etiquette, but they also smell of sweets and piss and are just generally loud annoying cunts.

5.) If you are the master responsible for creating the intricate web of bus timetables that span across the great North East, at least have the sense to make sure that they don’t clash with the train system.

6.) Standing up when there is a train passing through the road will not make the bus go any faster. Your stop is 6 minutes away so fucking sit down. This sheer act of stupidity mixed with the longest train in the world deciding to cross through a pedestrian village made me well up with tears. I’d not been this angry since I go stuck on Monkey Island.

If you successfully avoid the latter points, I won’t hate you. Good luck.

Not only have I been harassed by the stupid, but because of their existance I was late for college and lost my EMA (for those not down with the kids, that's a weekly government subsidy of £30):o(